


Meet the Butler

by n00dleBOT



Category: Team Fortress 2
Genre: Angst, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Other Additional Tags to Be Added
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-24
Updated: 2020-09-14
Packaged: 2021-02-27 07:29:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22393321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/n00dleBOT/pseuds/n00dleBOT
Summary: After a strange phone call, (Y/N) becomes a butler for the 9 mercenaries of Team Fortress. All of them seem to be friendly however one of the mercs seem to have caught your interest
Relationships: RED Sniper/You
Comments: 9
Kudos: 78





	1. Meet the Butler

**Author's Note:**

> It's been a while since I've written fanfiction, I hope the one percent of you who still reads tf2 fanfic will like this. thank you

Driving up to the base made my stomach turn, getting this job was...strange. All I remember was a phone call from a woman, saying that she has a good job opportunity for me, as a butler of sorts: making meals, cleaning stuff up, and making sure everything is in check. 

I was picked up by a woman named Miss Pauling, she was nice and helpful, telling me about the people I will be working with. First off, I thought I was gonna be working at a hotel in Nevada, not some weird looking base in the middle of New Mexico. Second, the people I’m going to be with are labeled as ‘strange’ according to Miss Pauling, but they mean well. 

From a musician to a job we do not talk about, I’ll do everything I can to make these men feel at home. “We’re here,” Miss Pauling parked the truck, she helped me out of it, “I’ll introduce you to everyone.” I jumped out of the truck, wearing a white dress shirt, black dress pants, black boots, and a purple tie. My hair had bobby pins in them, I have to look professional on the job, however, the smell of the place made me rethink. 

The smell of blood, metal, and gunpowder hit my nose hard. “Now I understand why they needed a butler,” I told myself. I ran to catch up with Miss Pauling. We entered a garage, entering it I saw something resembling a kitchen, where four men were playing some sort of card game, and a couch and table where five men watching a movie or something on a small TV, one of them was wearing a gas mask. Miss Pauling cleared her throat, getting everyone’s attention. 

“Everyone, this is your new butler, (Boy’s name). He’s from the city and will be cleaning around the base.” She explained. I stepped forward, smiled awkwardly. All the men were  **much** taller than you, around 6 feet at least. I bowed my head.

“I hope you enjoy my company,” I said in a crappy boy voice, “I know all of your names...well  _ most  _ of them and I know about certain things like taste in food and health.” I smiled again, still a little awkward. 

They kept staring at me and I was starting to panic to myself until a short man with a yellow hard hat started chuckling. “I’m sorry miss but that voice ain’t convincing me.” His statement made me embarrassed. I decided to retort.

“Posing as a man helps me find better jobs,” I adjusted my tie, “I was assigned here by the Administrator...I think. All I remember was a phone call.” I laughed nervously. A man wearing an army helmet marched towards me, looking at me dead in the eye, at least I think he is, his eyes are covered by his helmet.

I moved back, trying to center my eyes with his. But the staring contest ended shortly when Miss Pauling showed up with multiple bags and suitcases. “Here are your bags, I’ll have the mercs show you around, I have some  _ other  _ work to do,” She turned around, waving, “see you guys later!” 

~~~

Walking around the base made me feel at home, at least there wasn’t screaming outside or riots happening. One of the mercs, whose name was Dell Conagher, took me to an empty room, it was dusty and smelled of beer. “This was supposed to be Sniper’s room, but he sleeps in his van out front.” He explained. 

I dragged my bags on the bed. “Thank you, Mr. Conagher.” I bowed my head politely. He waved his hand at me.

“Please, just call me Dell, Mr. Conagher was my grandfather.” He politely corrected me. He held his gloved hand out to me, waiting for me to shake it. I happily shake his hand, however, his grip felt much stronger than a normal handshake. 

“You’ve got a strong gi-” I was stopped by him hugging me. It almost felt like a bear hug, but still comforting. Just like...I wrap my arms around his neck.

“Welcome to the team, Butler,” He ended the hug and put his hands on my shoulders, “you’re gonna feel right at home.” Dell then left my room, closing the door behind him. I sigh, combing my fingers through my hair. At least it wasn’t my crappy apartment from the city, it still smells like though. I unzipped my bag, pulling out albums and a blue record player, I gently place the record player on the wardrobe and opened it up. I pulled out one of the records from an album called ‘Aftermath’ by the Rolling Stones. 

_ I hope they don’t mind me playing some music  _ I thought as I put in the record and it started playing music, ‘Paint It, Black’. As the song played, I hummed and put my other suits and clothes in the wardrobe. 

Almost all my bags were empty until I heard a loud knock at my door. I turned off the music and opened the door, shocked, it was one of the men who were playing a card game in the kitchen, he was only sitting down, but I didn’t he was  _ this  _ tall. “Leetle butler lady,” he said in a thick Russian accent, “it is almost time for dinner.” He reminded me.

From what my notes told me, this man was Mikhail. “No worries Mikhail, I’ll get right to it.” Before I stormed off to the kitchen, I was stopped by a big hand, it almost covered my chest. I look up to see Mikhail, staring me down like a hawk. I was ready for him to hit me with his big bear-like hands, so I braced for impact. 

“You can call me Misha,” he said gently, “we are friends now, friends give friends nicknames.” He explained his reasoning. I sighed and pushed his arm out of the way. I giggled to myself.

~~~

“So lady,” Scout looked up at me while I’m making dinner, “where you from, and what’s your name?” He asked while he tossed a baseball up and down.

I took a deep breath before explaining myself. “My name is (Y/N), and I’m from Chicago,” I started, “I live with my mom and older brother in a crappy apartment downtown. We don’t have much money but unironically, I make the most money.” All the mercs were looking at me now. “I was a musician, I was in a band with three other guys, lots of people come to see our shows, a lot of shady people too.” I trailed off. 

I was about to continue my story until a tall man wearing a cool hat came in. He yawned as he leaned on the wall. Everyone else went eerily silent. I breathed in through my nose and realized I was almost about to burn dinner. I was able to finish it and showed the boys what I made: some good old fashion roast beef. 

The men drooled at the sight, as I placed the beef on the table, immediately the tall man sliced a piece of meat, it shocked me and I almost fell. “Thanks, Shelia.” He said quietly, though there was a rough tone to it. He left the table.

“Wait, sir, what about...tea.” I stopped talking after he left. When he left though, the other 8 went ham (no pun intended) on the beef. I sighed, pouring two cups of tea. I carried them outside.


	2. Awkward One-on-One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Y/N) decides to follow the Sniper to his van

As I walk outside, I see a van near the garage. I was a little nervous at first, even though I barely met this man, he had this menacing aura to him, I think his name was Mr. Mundy. I knock on the door. “Mr. Mundy, you have forgotten your tea,” I called out. There was a long pause, I didn’t hear any shifting in the van.

I sighed and turned my back until I heard the door open. I whipped my head, making sure the tea didn’t spill and I see Mr. Mundy in a white tank top, no glasses or hat to be seen, he didn’t look like the one you met when he was getting dinner. “What do you want you ‘roo?” He asked in an almost dark tone. I started to shake from his tone, I slowly raised the teacup to him. He squinted his eyes a little bit. “Shelia, get in the van.” I was shocked by his request, but I nodded.

When getting into his van, I realized how roomie it was: a mini kitchen with a little booth on the other side like a diner and a ladder leading to his bed, there were also jars with a yellow substance in it, I don’t even wanna know what was in it. I tried to speak up while he was grabbing a mug off the mini kitchen. “I wanted to give you some tea I made, to be honest, none of the mercs just drank beer bottles so I was hoping to give you one.” You explained to him.

“Sorry Sheila,” Sniper sounded softer, pouring coffee into the mug, “I’m not a tea guy either, I prefer coffee.” He took a drink out of his mug. Just from the smell, I didn’t like it. 

“To be honest, I don’t even like tea or coffee...uh no offense,” I explained, he looked up from his mug, “I was just taught how to make tea. Mr. Bidwell taught me butler etiquette before I got here, and I’m pretty sure I broke some of it getting here.”

“If I’m gonna be honest Shelia,” he interrupted me, “all of us have broken common etiquette, including me.” He sipped his coffee. I don’t know what came over me, but I started to giggle, it grew into laughter and I couldn’t stop laughing. I’m pretty sure he was smiling, his eyes were closed but I could see the corners of his mouth.

“Well, I best be off, I need to clean the dishes and clean up the base,” I got out of my seat and jumped out the van, Mr. Mundy followed me, “goodnight Mr. Mundy.” I waved to him, running back to base.

Sniper’s 3rd Person

He sighed, looking at the young girl running back inside, tripping a few times. He laughs to himself quietly. “I see that you have gotten friendly with our Majordome.” A familiar snarky french tone came from somewhere. Sniper pulled out his kukri, holding it out like a sword. He could smell him...behind him. He turned around and an uncloaked Spy appeared, putting his knife near Sniper’s neck.

“What do you want, you snake,” Sniper growled, his Kukri was close to Spy’s neck, “were you stalking me again?” The Spy, unflinching, stepped back. 

“Oh, I was just strolling around the base, having a cigarette and some quiet time, and following (Y/N) to you,” Sniper was about to swing but Spy stopped him, “she intrigues me, the men are thinking that she’s using her ‘clumsy’ act as a way to distract us. She may be dangerous, Bushman. And as a word of advice, coming from me,” Spy pulled on Sniper’s tank top, pulling him towards Spy, “watch. Your. Back.”

After that, Spy let go of Snipers tank top and went back inside. Sniper breathed heavily, he went back to his van, being cautionary. He’s gonna be sleeping with one eye open tonight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun Fact: Originally I wanted to make a continuation of the Tf2 comics. This was gonna be Tf2 comic #7 but I feel like the romance of that first idea was too sudden.


	3. New Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Butler meets with The Medic and The Pyro. On their way, Mr. Mundy seems to be different after the last time talking to him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I should explain myself before this begins. I thought I would be able to write during quarantine and summer, however, that did not happen. Instead, I have had multiple breakdowns, I have procrastinated. I simply lost motivation and got interested in different things. I'm surprised that the TF2 fandom is still thriving with fanfiction. So without further ado, let's get this show on the road

“So you name your birds after famous philosophers and mathematicians?” I asked Medic, I was in his medbay in the morning, he asked me last night to visit it the next day.

“Ja, Archimedes being my personal favorite,” he answered, he was sorting  _ something  _ while talking to me. All the doves looked unique, including one big fluffy one, weighing down the others.

The only birds I’ve seen were robins and pigeons, both of them are mean. I hesitantly raised my finger at the big one, I was ready to pull my hand back. But it actually didn’t nip at me, instead, it rubbed it’s little head one my finger. “What about this one? Does this one have a name?” I asked Medic again. He turned around and walked towards me.

“I think this one does,” he said, petting the dove, “it’s been so long ago, I don’t remember all their names, I only remember Archimedes.

“How about Lovelace?” I suggested to him.

The Medic looked at the dove more closely, he carefully held it in his big hands. He smiled. “Lovelace, what a lovely name for a lovely bird.” He nuzzled the bird as it got comfortable in hands. We both laughed as he placed Lovelace in a comfortable nest at the corner of the Medbay.

“So Mr. Ludwig,” I decided to finally ask my question, “why did you call me here?” He tilted his head but he propped himself up. He then perked up.

“Well, I brought you here today to discuss cleaning the medbay,” he explained, “there are a lot of things in here that you are not allowed to touch. You are only allowed to organize my books, clean the vials, feed the doves. BUT, you are not allowed to look in the fridge or mess with any of the containers that have organs in them.” The more he explained, the more my stomach sank, he  _ is  _ a medic, but does he really have containers and boxes of human organs?

~~~

Dr. Ludwig goes on and on about what not to touch in his bay. Sooner or later, he let’s me go. As I exit the room, I bump into a familiar Australian. “Oh! Good morning Mr. Mundy.” I politely bow at him. He looks at me with a bit of a scowl. It sorta upset me, until I felt an invisible hand on my shoulder.

“Don’t mind the Bushman, mademoiselle,” a french voice called out to you from behind, you turned around and came face to face with a ski masked man in a suit, “we haven’t properly met, I am known as the spy.” He introduced himself, he grabbed my hand and kissed it. Was it supposed to be charming or…

“Don’t be a creep, snake.” Mr. Mundy’s nose scrunched up at the sight of the spy. He pulled me away from the spy and whispered into my ear. “Be careful (Y/N), don’t trust a word that snake tells you.” He sounded genuine, it sounded like the Mr. Mundy you were talking to in his van.

“I was only introducing myself,” the spy pulled me back to him, I looked up at him, “Miss Pauling said that you will be taking care of our rooms. I was only going to tell her that she doesn't need to go in my room, I clean it myself. That was all bushman.”

Mr. Mundy’s nose was completely scrunched up, like a wrinkled grape almost. The Spy let me go and disappeared. I was finally able to catch my breath, I looked up to see Mr. Mundy staring off into the distance, it looked like there’s some bad blood in the base. When I try to get close to him to try and comfort him, but he walks away ignoring me. It seems that Mr. Mundy and Sniper are two different people to me.

~~~

I perk up, remembering that I’m supposed to talk to one last person, Pyro. When I get close to their door, I shake in fear. Miss Pauling said that Pyro’s origin and gender are unknown, no one knows where they came from, not even the mercs know how Pyro got here. I got closer and closer until I hesitantly knocked on the door. The door opens from my knocks, I tiptoe slowly into the room. The floor and wall has scorched splotches here and there, the bed was red with different animal plushies scattered on it. 

I arch my eyebrow until I see Pyro in the room, playing with a unicorn plushie. They throw in the air and catch it when it comes down. Their laugh is muffled from their gasmask. 

By instinct, I chuckled from the sight. Pyro stopped and turned very eerily. I stepped back cautiously as they walked towards me like a horror movie monster. “Don’t worry sir...I mean ma’am..I MEAN!” I kept backing up until my back hit a wall. 

Pyro was looking directly at me...I think, it’s hard to tell with the gas mask on. The nozzle of the mask was close to my nose, I could hear them inhale…’Are they smelling me?’ I thought. Pyro back away from me, it almost felt like I was holding my breath through that whole situation.

Pyro sits cross-legged on the ground, tilting their head. I composed myself as I spoke. “I am here to inspect your room. Are there any places you don’t want me to touch or look at?” I ask politely. Pyro immediately stood up, they walked to a closet, parts of the corners are blackened by something. They tap the closet door with their hand to direct me to it, and they shake their head. “So you don’t want me to clean the closet?” I confirmed, Pyro nodded.

Before I could catch my breath, the intercom came to life, a woman’s voice called from it, a familiar voice. “Attention Mercenaries, BLU has been spotted in Badwater Basin, please report immediately. Mission begins in 30 minutes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know if there are any grammar or spelling mistakes. Please and thank you


End file.
